It is a small house and we are a close family. Momma suffers from what the rest of the family calls constipation. Did you know guys expect you to be able to poo every day?! I am too busy quilting and designing to make that a daily occurrence, lol. Seriously though, I am eating my bran cereal and hoping for at least a bi-weekly event. So now that you know my bathroom habits you have to be sitting there wondering why on earth this warrants a blog entry. This past weekend, because it has become such a family joke (okay and concern) I made the announcement that I was heading to the bathroom. As the house erupted in cheers and giggles I made my way down the hall. Teddy and FatCat raced on ahead of me, no one ever said I would have privacy. The cats jump into the bath tub and I plant my ample behind onto the throne. CRACK! There was this earsplitting sound that I swore was the seat cracking in half. Teddy launched over my head. FatCat clawed past my feet. Both of them now hiding in the towel cupboard. I sit there wondering if I was about to fall in. Thinking, Great, now i need to buy a new toilet seat. Soon (as business was frightened out of me) I was able to lift the seat and inspect it. Did I find a crack or a break? Nope not at all. Instead I found the remains of several carefully placed Snap Pops. Snap Pops for those of you who are not readily familiar with them are little twists of rocks and gunpowder. The kids get them on the 4th of July and have a blast tossing them at feet. When they hit the ground they make a POP and a small puff of smoke. Under a toilet seat I now know it becomes a CRACK instead. I wash my hands, reassure the hiding cats and make my way into the kitchen. Once there I holler at the kids, "Front and Center, Family Meeting!" The house erupts in panic. Kids are quietly sitting on couches. Jon is at his desk with a concerned look on his face. I hear mumblings of, "wasn't me", "well I sure didn't do anything". I instruct Jon to carefully watch kids faces as I make an announcement from the kitchen. The look he gave me was priceless. "Alright you guys, While I commend the ingenuity of who ever boobie trapped the toilet..." And that was as far as I got. Stevie is giggling and laughing so hard he can barely breath. It is obvious who the culprit is. I toss a stern look his way, and announce that he now has kitty poop duty for the week. Still laughing and gasping he lets all know it was well worth the punishment. The only thing he regretted was that he had upset CowDog so much with his test run, that Jon had to give her some of her medication to calm her down. "The acoustics in there were great for that, weren't they Mom?" Then quietly I hear "And you guys wonder why she can't poo..."
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